Hey y'all,
All of our lives, our subconscious, or EGO, tries to protect us from pain.
Whether it's as simple as avoiding the hot eye of the stove or as complicated as trauma wounds.
We are programmed to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
If you have turned to crystal meth as a coping mechanism, chances are you are avoiding pain.
Pain that awaits in the shadows.
The irony is that in order to shine a light on this pain and properly process it, we have to re-experience it.
Recovery is facing the parts of us that have been fragmented by pain and leaning head-on into it without the anesthesia of meth.
Listen, it ain't easy, but it's totally worth it.
During my recovery journey, I discovered a shadow aspect of myself that was painful to admit.
I had chosen the easy way out all of my life.
Throughout high school and college, I did the bare minimum.
I would look for any loophole I could at work to simplify my role.
After coming out to my wife, I left her within two weeks.
When I broke up with someone, I simply said, "I'm done," and walked away.
And, of course, meth is the queen of shortcuts (connection, belonging, dissolving shame, sex, etc.).
I called my behavior "resilience" because I seemed to face challenging life events with ease.
In reality, I was bypassing.
Avoiding the hard work.
Compartmentalizing the pain.
Taking the easy way out.
Can you guess what happens when you don't feel the pain of life?
The pressure builds until it finally explodes, OR we find ways (like meth) to relieve the pressure temporarily.
I'm sure you can relate to that moment when shame hits.
Maybe it's the morning after a relapse or when a random memory from active addiction floods your consciousness.
Your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and for a split second, you're caught between running from the pain (like I did) or letting it consume you entirely (like most of you do).
Here's the truth I've learned on my own journey: There's a third option.
We can choose to feel our pain instead of letting it feel us.
This isn't just some spiritual bypass β it's about reclaiming your power in recovery.
Let me share with you five truths that have changed not just my relationship with pain and shame but my entire recovery journey.
1. Pain Has an Intelligence
EVERYthing is energy. And that energy has a frequency.
Pain is no different.
